I found this somewhat chilling to read, perhaps because I have shared so many of the premonitory feelings but at age 87 am too old to act on them. As a granddaughter of Norwegian immigrants (my pre-marital last name was Hammersberg) I have often felt yearnings for a homeland I have visited but never lived in. And like so many, I feel a great sadness for this country, which held out such hope for my grandparents.
This was so compelling to read, and really resonates with me, as does much of your writing. I’ve lived in Norway for 11 years and moved here from the U.S. not to “get out” but to follow my Norwegian boyfriend, now-husband. It’s hard to know if I would try to leave if I hadn’t already been led abroad, but I can’t overstate how grateful I am that I ended up here. What keeps me up at night now (and basically since 2016) is something akin to survivor’s guilt. Especially with having very young kids and seeing how impossible it is to be a parent in the U.S. right now compared with here, along with the political turmoil there, the general sense of hostility, unchecked capitalism, etc, I am happy that my immediate family is safe and thriving in Norway but I fear so much for my family and friends back home. And I guess I still have enough patriotism in me that seeing what’s happening to my (first) home country is just so sad. Anyway, thank you for your perspectives and “hei / hej” from across the border!
Hej back to you! I know exactly what you mean. The guilt really stings. I'm glad you're safe in Norway and that your kids can grow up without all that stress. I hope we will all be ok.
Once again, so much of this resonated. My gut started to tell me to leave where I was (Eastern Washington State) in 2019, and my consciousness caught up as the community heated up in early 2020. Getting out of the country entirely wasn't within the realm of possibility or consideration yet. But in 2020 we moved from the Pacific Northwest to the Southeast Coast, as far away as I could get then from the danger I felt myself in. By 2022, I was done with the whole U.S. All the alarm bells were ringing in my head. I also saw the parallels to late-stage USSR, as well as to pre-WWII Germany. I felt like everything was collapsing around me at an accelerated pace. We took a trip to France and the UK in the fall and we knew it was time to GTFO. About 5 months later, we were living in Portugal.
People should trust their intuitions more. We evolved to have these instinctual feelings as a matter of survival. I think the gut feelings are the shortcuts our subconscious makes, parsing through massive amounts of informtimen and stimuli we don't have time to think through when we are in imminent danger. We have been taught to be too reliant on intellect alone, and to ignore feelings, but both are essential.
I completely agree about intuition. It's so much smarter than logic (and faster!) yet it has this woo-woo reputation. I've been thinking about this article since I wrote it and I don't feel I've quite pinpointed what started to feel wrong in 2018ish. There was a turn but I can't seem to fully summon it. What was going on with you in 2019?
I had been involved in politics since roughly 2012 (became Dem party chair in 2015 or so and then a candidate for state legislature), a Planned Parenthood board member, and the founder and president of a secular humanist / atheist nonprofit. I was very engaged in activism and advocacy for various issues at the local, state, and even national level, so I had a heightened awareness of micro- and macro-level right-wing discussion and activities.
It's important to note I also have the added background of having been raised in an Evangelical home and was sent to Christian Nationalist private school in the South, so I knew what they believe, what they want, and how they talk.
In my political life, I interacted more often than I'd have liked with some very radical Christian Nationalist personalities, some of whom were elected officials already, others who were running for office or politically engaged. Even as a Dem candidate, I was invited to attend local Libertarian meetings and events, and I did, because I was an anti-establishment Dem who wanted to change the party from within, and I shared much in common with the left side of the libertarians, but I got a lot of exposure to the right-leaning libertarians, as well.
Anyhow, because of this background and life as a public figure, I sensed the right becoming more and more emboldened and strong even before Trump got elected the first time. It's the reason I felt he might actually win and why I felt like practically the only person in my social circle who wasn't surprised and in shock when he did. I really did not like Clinton and thought she was a disastrous choice as a candidate.
I had been closely following (and writing about and leading protests against) legal cases such as the Hobby Lobby decision, the civil rights clashes between Christians and LGBTQ people, including a big case that developed in my town and involved two dear friends who ended up in a protracted legal battle with a Christian florist who refused to sell flowers for their wedding in violation of state anti-discrimination statutes, and led the resistance against every attempt to install Christian hegemony in our public schools, city councils, etc., of which there were MANY attempts. It was intensifying and they were relentless.
The other change I was taking note of was the rapid intensification of the frequency and severity of wildfires. It was becoming a seasonal given.
And all of this was BEFORE the right-wing militias began patrolling the streets and harassing people in 2020 and all the antifa paranoia that erupted in the summer of BLM protests. Basically, I saw the region I was living in as a powder keg just waiting for the spark. It took moving to Georgia to realize the whole country was in deep trouble.
Thank you for this. I know what you mean by this idea of emboldenment. The cultural tone changed and very quickly. You were really in the trenches! And you have such a nuanced perspective. I’m so glad you found your way here to share it.
It really did change, and fast. I think we've been headed in this direction at an accelerating pace since 2008, but the seeds leading to that financial crisis were planted in the long-existing soil. There is DEEP discontentment across the political spectrum, and rightfully so. The difference lies in who regular people believe is to blame.
@JD Goulet - I like your writing and impressed with all the things you have organized, and all the things you have accomplished. With news moving so quickly, do you think there is ANY chance we can convince the electorate, but especially politicians that the timing is right, the timing is now, for a One Payer Healthcare Ststem - or Medicare for all. At 72, I live with the shadow of medical costs-induced poverty hanging over my head, and I can't get rid of the fear.
Thanks for this. Similar current situation. I started working on Portuguese residency three days after Trumf was elected in 2016. I think I had some similar education after spending a year in Lisbon as a young adult shortly after 38 years of dictatorship ended. I also had the dream of not being able to get to an international flight for YEARS. I don’t have it anymore. My passport application goes in next June. Thanks for writing.
Hubby and I moved to Portugal in 2022 and we love it here. If I had been able to stay in the US, I would have stayed where we were, but lack of accessible/ affordable healthcare was too great. I'm glad you listened to your instincts. They are coalesced information.
Thanks so much for reading. Happy to hear you're enjoying Portugal. At this time of year, I often wonder why I wasn't smart enough to go somewhere warmer, but I guess that ship has sailed.
"But in the time it took to prepare our move, my friends said they didn’t understand why I leaving. Wasn’t this a sweeping overreaction, they asked? Was I maybe allowing my feelings about Trump to warp my brain? I wondered the same thing. But every time I checked, my intuition said it louder: Get out."
This happened when we announced we were leaving, too. Though most of my friends understood, my parents and extended family did not. They said we had "Trump derangement syndrome;" that we were over-reacting.
But then they also said that when I said 15 years ago that there were too many unregulated guns owned by too many unstable people. And I didn't want to live in a society where you were expected as a normal responsible person to keep a firearm at the ready in self-defense.
They turn a determined blind eye to the crumbling infrastructure, underfunded schools, the outrageous cost of higher ed, the opioid crisis and number of overdose deaths of their friends' kids, even their friends ... COVID was a hoax until it wasn't, it was overblown until healthy people they knew got it and died. On and on...
I didn't realize until after this election how much I so wanted to be wrong about things--to have been exaggerating and paranoid.
But everything I have been worried about for so long has come to pass, to happen and then have become normalized. I really fear for what's coming...for the whole world.
I didn’t have the premonitions you had, and Trump wasn’t a factor, but after years of volunteering in a small village in Mexico, I considered living here. On January 10, 2016, as my plane touched down in Mexico, I had the overwhelming feeling of “I’m home.” The deteriorating situation in the U.S. was unforeseen at the time and now another reason that I feel fortunate to live here.
That's beautiful and it's a credit to you that you honored the feeling. For me, almost all of Europe is home and I have no idea why and I no longer care. That's just how it is. The psyche has spoken!
I am an American expat who fled to Canada after recurrent nightmares telling me to run. In my case, I was fleeing from ongoing post divorce litigation. When the judge said he was reducing my ex's child support obligations by $5/month and asked what I wanted, I told him I wanted to be able to move to Canada with my Canadian spouse and minor children. The Judge agreed and I was on the plane the next day, talking my way across the border with the promise that I would submit immigration papers before my visitor's visa ran out. This was all pre-Trump 1. Oddly, the reason that I paid attention to my dreams was my ex's mother's story about how she had been saved from certain death by Hitler's hands when her own mother had had dreams of putting Jewish daughter with a limp caused by polio on a ship heading to the US and followed up on the dreams. Life goes on and I will not return to the US. It is not the country I left.
Trump's second victory reflects profound feelings of insecurity by a majority of Americans, who understand that the world is changing in significant ways and who don't feel that their communities or the US economy will support them when needed. Unfortunately, the US is not alone in this trend.
The V-Dem Institute at the University of Gothenburg in Sweden (https://www.v-dem.net/) is finding a growing number of electoral democracies are becoming autocracies by changes to the law and through the courts. Canada will have elections soon enough and I am hoping it bucks the autocratization trend.
That's an amazing story. It gave me chills. I wonder if moms corner the market on this stuff? It's lucky that you left when you did. I don't know if you could talk your way in these days. From what I hear, it's getting harder and harder to emigrate almost everywhere. And thanks for the link to V-Dem. I didn't know about it and it looks very interesting.
Thank you for reading and for the note. My psychotherapist friend says to ignore intution is to ignore six million years of evolution talking to you. I like that one.
As a Canadian living not far from the U.S. border, I am deeply confused by what happened on Nov.5th. For the life of me, I can’t understand how that man got re-elected. Regardless, Laura, you were wise to listen to your intuition. Thank you for your story. I’m looking forward to much more from you!
Thank you for reading. I very much share your confusion. I've heard it said that Canada must feel like it's living in the apartment over the meth lab. I imagine that's probably about right.
Haha, well said, Laura. That joke emerged following the 2016 election. It should have died a long time ago. The problem with meth labs is they can blow up. And that apartment will then become matchwood! I’d love to get your take on how Swedish society regards its older population. Our podcast series, The Art 2 Aging, would be very interested in hearing your thoughts!
Funny you should ask. I deleted it when I moved here in a burst of euphoria. Then, last week, I tried to reconstruct it in case someone like you asks. At present, I have zero connections, which looks a little sad. You are welcome to be my first.
Thank you for reading. This one was so personal and I worked really hard on it. It seems to really resonate with the moms. I've been thinking about why that is.
Hej Anders! I find the Swedes to be really wonderful people one-on-one, if a little shy. But as a society, it's a little on the cold side. But I remind myself that nowhere is perfect and I'm grateful for being able to live here.
I would say you nailed it. A bit of alcohol helps in all of Northern Europe to get a bit warmer, but not to much. Yes its very functional, yes IKEA comes from here.
As an Indian colleague once told me that Sweden is as close to paradise as one can imagine but no one here realises it
It is, I think the Jewish community feel save again, its was a bit wobbly after Oct 7th. Yes we have angry young men, but not as agressive as in other European cities
I found this somewhat chilling to read, perhaps because I have shared so many of the premonitory feelings but at age 87 am too old to act on them. As a granddaughter of Norwegian immigrants (my pre-marital last name was Hammersberg) I have often felt yearnings for a homeland I have visited but never lived in. And like so many, I feel a great sadness for this country, which held out such hope for my grandparents.
I feel the same way. It’s heartbreaking. I would love to hear about your premonitions. You must have seen so much in 87 years!
This was so compelling to read, and really resonates with me, as does much of your writing. I’ve lived in Norway for 11 years and moved here from the U.S. not to “get out” but to follow my Norwegian boyfriend, now-husband. It’s hard to know if I would try to leave if I hadn’t already been led abroad, but I can’t overstate how grateful I am that I ended up here. What keeps me up at night now (and basically since 2016) is something akin to survivor’s guilt. Especially with having very young kids and seeing how impossible it is to be a parent in the U.S. right now compared with here, along with the political turmoil there, the general sense of hostility, unchecked capitalism, etc, I am happy that my immediate family is safe and thriving in Norway but I fear so much for my family and friends back home. And I guess I still have enough patriotism in me that seeing what’s happening to my (first) home country is just so sad. Anyway, thank you for your perspectives and “hei / hej” from across the border!
Hej back to you! I know exactly what you mean. The guilt really stings. I'm glad you're safe in Norway and that your kids can grow up without all that stress. I hope we will all be ok.
"Pay attention when things start to change." This is an absolutely chilling and crucial call to action.
It certainly stayed with me and for all those years, too.
I think a lot of people will suffer further.
Once again, so much of this resonated. My gut started to tell me to leave where I was (Eastern Washington State) in 2019, and my consciousness caught up as the community heated up in early 2020. Getting out of the country entirely wasn't within the realm of possibility or consideration yet. But in 2020 we moved from the Pacific Northwest to the Southeast Coast, as far away as I could get then from the danger I felt myself in. By 2022, I was done with the whole U.S. All the alarm bells were ringing in my head. I also saw the parallels to late-stage USSR, as well as to pre-WWII Germany. I felt like everything was collapsing around me at an accelerated pace. We took a trip to France and the UK in the fall and we knew it was time to GTFO. About 5 months later, we were living in Portugal.
People should trust their intuitions more. We evolved to have these instinctual feelings as a matter of survival. I think the gut feelings are the shortcuts our subconscious makes, parsing through massive amounts of informtimen and stimuli we don't have time to think through when we are in imminent danger. We have been taught to be too reliant on intellect alone, and to ignore feelings, but both are essential.
*information
I completely agree about intuition. It's so much smarter than logic (and faster!) yet it has this woo-woo reputation. I've been thinking about this article since I wrote it and I don't feel I've quite pinpointed what started to feel wrong in 2018ish. There was a turn but I can't seem to fully summon it. What was going on with you in 2019?
I had been involved in politics since roughly 2012 (became Dem party chair in 2015 or so and then a candidate for state legislature), a Planned Parenthood board member, and the founder and president of a secular humanist / atheist nonprofit. I was very engaged in activism and advocacy for various issues at the local, state, and even national level, so I had a heightened awareness of micro- and macro-level right-wing discussion and activities.
It's important to note I also have the added background of having been raised in an Evangelical home and was sent to Christian Nationalist private school in the South, so I knew what they believe, what they want, and how they talk.
In my political life, I interacted more often than I'd have liked with some very radical Christian Nationalist personalities, some of whom were elected officials already, others who were running for office or politically engaged. Even as a Dem candidate, I was invited to attend local Libertarian meetings and events, and I did, because I was an anti-establishment Dem who wanted to change the party from within, and I shared much in common with the left side of the libertarians, but I got a lot of exposure to the right-leaning libertarians, as well.
Anyhow, because of this background and life as a public figure, I sensed the right becoming more and more emboldened and strong even before Trump got elected the first time. It's the reason I felt he might actually win and why I felt like practically the only person in my social circle who wasn't surprised and in shock when he did. I really did not like Clinton and thought she was a disastrous choice as a candidate.
I had been closely following (and writing about and leading protests against) legal cases such as the Hobby Lobby decision, the civil rights clashes between Christians and LGBTQ people, including a big case that developed in my town and involved two dear friends who ended up in a protracted legal battle with a Christian florist who refused to sell flowers for their wedding in violation of state anti-discrimination statutes, and led the resistance against every attempt to install Christian hegemony in our public schools, city councils, etc., of which there were MANY attempts. It was intensifying and they were relentless.
The other change I was taking note of was the rapid intensification of the frequency and severity of wildfires. It was becoming a seasonal given.
And all of this was BEFORE the right-wing militias began patrolling the streets and harassing people in 2020 and all the antifa paranoia that erupted in the summer of BLM protests. Basically, I saw the region I was living in as a powder keg just waiting for the spark. It took moving to Georgia to realize the whole country was in deep trouble.
Thank you for this. I know what you mean by this idea of emboldenment. The cultural tone changed and very quickly. You were really in the trenches! And you have such a nuanced perspective. I’m so glad you found your way here to share it.
It really did change, and fast. I think we've been headed in this direction at an accelerating pace since 2008, but the seeds leading to that financial crisis were planted in the long-existing soil. There is DEEP discontentment across the political spectrum, and rightfully so. The difference lies in who regular people believe is to blame.
@JD Goulet - I like your writing and impressed with all the things you have organized, and all the things you have accomplished. With news moving so quickly, do you think there is ANY chance we can convince the electorate, but especially politicians that the timing is right, the timing is now, for a One Payer Healthcare Ststem - or Medicare for all. At 72, I live with the shadow of medical costs-induced poverty hanging over my head, and I can't get rid of the fear.
Thanks for this. Similar current situation. I started working on Portuguese residency three days after Trumf was elected in 2016. I think I had some similar education after spending a year in Lisbon as a young adult shortly after 38 years of dictatorship ended. I also had the dream of not being able to get to an international flight for YEARS. I don’t have it anymore. My passport application goes in next June. Thanks for writing.
It's so interesting how the unconscious talks to us. Wishing you the best of luck with your plans!
Many thanks. I’ll keep reading. Appreciate the thoughts of a fellow traveler.
Hubby and I moved to Portugal in 2022 and we love it here. If I had been able to stay in the US, I would have stayed where we were, but lack of accessible/ affordable healthcare was too great. I'm glad you listened to your instincts. They are coalesced information.
Thanks so much for reading. Happy to hear you're enjoying Portugal. At this time of year, I often wonder why I wasn't smart enough to go somewhere warmer, but I guess that ship has sailed.
"But in the time it took to prepare our move, my friends said they didn’t understand why I leaving. Wasn’t this a sweeping overreaction, they asked? Was I maybe allowing my feelings about Trump to warp my brain? I wondered the same thing. But every time I checked, my intuition said it louder: Get out."
This happened when we announced we were leaving, too. Though most of my friends understood, my parents and extended family did not. They said we had "Trump derangement syndrome;" that we were over-reacting.
But then they also said that when I said 15 years ago that there were too many unregulated guns owned by too many unstable people. And I didn't want to live in a society where you were expected as a normal responsible person to keep a firearm at the ready in self-defense.
They turn a determined blind eye to the crumbling infrastructure, underfunded schools, the outrageous cost of higher ed, the opioid crisis and number of overdose deaths of their friends' kids, even their friends ... COVID was a hoax until it wasn't, it was overblown until healthy people they knew got it and died. On and on...
I didn't realize until after this election how much I so wanted to be wrong about things--to have been exaggerating and paranoid.
But everything I have been worried about for so long has come to pass, to happen and then have become normalized. I really fear for what's coming...for the whole world.
I still hope I am wrong.
I hope you’re wrong, too, but I doubt you are. In any case, you definitely sound like my kind of person.
@Cathi Harris - your letter hit me in my gut. I want out! I want away! But I can't!
I didn’t have the premonitions you had, and Trump wasn’t a factor, but after years of volunteering in a small village in Mexico, I considered living here. On January 10, 2016, as my plane touched down in Mexico, I had the overwhelming feeling of “I’m home.” The deteriorating situation in the U.S. was unforeseen at the time and now another reason that I feel fortunate to live here.
That's beautiful and it's a credit to you that you honored the feeling. For me, almost all of Europe is home and I have no idea why and I no longer care. That's just how it is. The psyche has spoken!
I am an American expat who fled to Canada after recurrent nightmares telling me to run. In my case, I was fleeing from ongoing post divorce litigation. When the judge said he was reducing my ex's child support obligations by $5/month and asked what I wanted, I told him I wanted to be able to move to Canada with my Canadian spouse and minor children. The Judge agreed and I was on the plane the next day, talking my way across the border with the promise that I would submit immigration papers before my visitor's visa ran out. This was all pre-Trump 1. Oddly, the reason that I paid attention to my dreams was my ex's mother's story about how she had been saved from certain death by Hitler's hands when her own mother had had dreams of putting Jewish daughter with a limp caused by polio on a ship heading to the US and followed up on the dreams. Life goes on and I will not return to the US. It is not the country I left.
Trump's second victory reflects profound feelings of insecurity by a majority of Americans, who understand that the world is changing in significant ways and who don't feel that their communities or the US economy will support them when needed. Unfortunately, the US is not alone in this trend.
The V-Dem Institute at the University of Gothenburg in Sweden (https://www.v-dem.net/) is finding a growing number of electoral democracies are becoming autocracies by changes to the law and through the courts. Canada will have elections soon enough and I am hoping it bucks the autocratization trend.
That's an amazing story. It gave me chills. I wonder if moms corner the market on this stuff? It's lucky that you left when you did. I don't know if you could talk your way in these days. From what I hear, it's getting harder and harder to emigrate almost everywhere. And thanks for the link to V-Dem. I didn't know about it and it looks very interesting.
Very chilling and I’m right there with you. I think about Canada, but that’s likely to become a suburb… Just breathe and do what you can.
I have similar premonitions, too. So glad I'm not the only one who listens to them. Thank you so much for sharing. 🙏🏼
Thank you for reading and for the note. My psychotherapist friend says to ignore intution is to ignore six million years of evolution talking to you. I like that one.
Oh ... that is so good.
As a Canadian living not far from the U.S. border, I am deeply confused by what happened on Nov.5th. For the life of me, I can’t understand how that man got re-elected. Regardless, Laura, you were wise to listen to your intuition. Thank you for your story. I’m looking forward to much more from you!
Thank you for reading. I very much share your confusion. I've heard it said that Canada must feel like it's living in the apartment over the meth lab. I imagine that's probably about right.
Haha, well said, Laura. That joke emerged following the 2016 election. It should have died a long time ago. The problem with meth labs is they can blow up. And that apartment will then become matchwood! I’d love to get your take on how Swedish society regards its older population. Our podcast series, The Art 2 Aging, would be very interested in hearing your thoughts!
That sounds like important work. Let me give it some thought.
Great! Are you on LinkedIn, Laura?
Funny you should ask. I deleted it when I moved here in a burst of euphoria. Then, last week, I tried to reconstruct it in case someone like you asks. At present, I have zero connections, which looks a little sad. You are welcome to be my first.
Happy to be! But I only see two Laura Skovs on LI. One works in IT and the other is a J student in Copenhagen…
Thank you for this wonderful piece ..
Thank you for reading. This one was so personal and I worked really hard on it. It seems to really resonate with the moms. I've been thinking about why that is.
@Laura Skov This column really reverberated in me!
Thank you so much!
Really interesting, thanks Laura (or rather, tack)
How do you cope with Sweden then which also has it peculiarities (to be honest they ate on a completely different level)? Asking for a friend
Hej Anders! I find the Swedes to be really wonderful people one-on-one, if a little shy. But as a society, it's a little on the cold side. But I remind myself that nowhere is perfect and I'm grateful for being able to live here.
I would say you nailed it. A bit of alcohol helps in all of Northern Europe to get a bit warmer, but not to much. Yes its very functional, yes IKEA comes from here.
As an Indian colleague once told me that Sweden is as close to paradise as one can imagine but no one here realises it
Is the Antisemitism I've read about there overstated?
I’m not Jewish myself but I haven’t heard any antisemitic sentiment. But lots of people have that impression. I don’t know where it comes from.
It is, I think the Jewish community feel save again, its was a bit wobbly after Oct 7th. Yes we have angry young men, but not as agressive as in other European cities
Chilling.